Sweet Jimmy
Hollywood Forever Cemetery was the last quiet place in LA. Once. A hundred people were crowded around a grave. Laying flowers on it, sobbing. An old lady wearing a bandana …
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Mr. Penny Sees Red
It had been quite a day for Mr. Penny. First he’d been struck by that—was it a van, or an ambulance? The ambulance came after. Yes, he was certain of …
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Two Hearts
My mother and I were in Bristol, visiting someone. A cousin, or something. We were having tea—like this. Our hostess . . . and her teenage daughter. I would’ve been nine or ten. Children …
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Blue Fortuna
“I finally abandoned my dream of celebrity when I realized I had talent.” —Napoleon Star, A Life They still had bookstores in those days. Vand’s was a block from my …
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How to Become a Mascot
First, quit your day job and go back to school, even though you’re thirty-two already. Do this because your boyfriend is dead and you will never get to run your …
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An Ostrich
When Dad died, I talked to an ostrich. In the waiting room, an ostrich sat down. “Who let this ostrich in? ” I said. The janitor stared at me. The ostrich …
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The Dream Museum
“You’ll be a disappointment till the day I die.” Mom loved me to death but . . . One time, we got into a big row. She said something I didn’t really like, …
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