Doubt and Faith

He might wonder all his life whether his decisions were betrayals, whether he found love out of fear, what prompted him to stay, what wished in him to leave. Or …

Illustration by Jesse Jacobs

He might wonder all his life
whether his decisions were betrayals,
whether he found love out of fear,
what prompted him to stay,
what wished in him to leave.

Or how the ghost of a breath on the glass
is for the faithful a sign,
and what each sees is his own Christ,
his own Mary, Mother of God, in the glass.

And many years after,
his children crouch low, as to a shrine.

So he might wonder
and saddle up his own part-starved steed,
pastured and bruised in a kiln-dried country

where he rides, tacking to trails cut above the sea.
O what a lovely seaside view!
Desire like a mule’s wish, declining its absolute.

This appeared in the December 2014 issue.

Darren Bifford
Darren Bifford is the author of Wedding In Fire Country and Hermit Crab.
Jesse Jacobs
Jesse Jacobs has published three graphic novels, most recently Safari Honeymoon.

Like What You’re Reading?

Fact-based journalism is our passion and your right.

We’re asking readers like you to support The Walrus so we can continue to lead the Canadian conversation. This past year has seen some serious changes in Canada, from the mainstreaming of cannabis to the fallout of the SNC-Lavalin affair to our response to COVID-19.

We feature Canadian voices and expertise on stories that travel beyond our shores, and we firmly believe that this reporting can change the world around us. The Walrus covers it all with originality, depth, and thoughtfulness, bringing diverse perspectives to bear on essential conversations while setting the highest bar for fact-checking and rigour.

None of this would be possible without you.

As a nonprofit, we work hard to keep our costs low and our team lean, but this is a model that requires individual support to pay our contributors fairly and maintain the strength of our independent coverage.
Donations of $20 or more will receive a charitable tax receipt.
Every contribution makes a difference.
Support The Walrus from as little as $2. Thank you.