Topped by a half-pound of maple bacon personally cured by all the members of Nickelback
The first great Canadian burger was made
by Alberta poet Krane MacPherson,
who always claimed his secret ingredient
was the salty winter tears of a teacher.
MacPherson died in a parking lot brawl
over the meaning of Pratt’s Last Spike
but burgers remain truer to Canada’s heart
than the national dish: syrup and fries.
The Apache Burger in Etobicoke
and the Chickenburger past the Narrows
remain, after the Anne Murray Museum,
Canada’s greatest tourist attractions.
The best burger in the world is in Montreal:
take Highway 40 westward from the city,
turn in to Trudeau airport, fly to LA,
and get the Double-Double at In-N-Out.
This appeared in the July/August 2012 issue.