My mother and I were in Bristol, visiting someone. A cousin, or something. We were having tea—like this. Our hostess . . . and her teenage daughter. I would’ve been nine or ten. Children …

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Aunt May ran over a kid in her electric chair. We heard this screaming and ran outside. The neighbour’s kid was lying on the sidewalk, holding his stomach. Aunt May …

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I was the only survivor of flight WC350. The lady next to me had—I’m not sure. Her eyes watered constantly. They moved constantly, too. “I was an English teacher in …

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“I finally abandoned my dream of celebrity when I realized I had talent.” —Napoleon Star, A Life They still had bookstores in those days. Vand’s was a block from my …

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When Dad died, I talked to an ostrich. In the waiting room, an ostrich sat down. “Who let this ostrich in? ” I said. The janitor stared at me. The ostrich …

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“You’ll be a disappointment till the day I die.” Mom loved me to death but . . . One time, we got into a big row. She said something I didn’t really like, …

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