Fiction

POETSMART™

Just like people, poets can develop unhealthy, adverse, and sometimes dangerous habits. Poets are cute but, let’s face it, they can disrupt a household. Like children, they need guidance and discipline to live happily and healthily with the “adults” in their lives. From fundamental manners to problem solving, anything is possible with a good education.

poetsmart’s professional Poet Training Instructors can help you teach your poet a variety of skills, from the basics of good behaviour to complicated tricks and everything in between. Developed by the world’s leading poet trainers and behaviourists, this gentle and effective approach is fun for both poets and their families. Regardless of your poet’s age or skill level, we have a course that will help him learn new, desired behaviours. Choose from the following three levels:

Level 1: poet head start

Using positive reinforcement methods, you’ll learn how to prevent unwanted behaviour and establish a bond with your poet. Training points include:

Level 2: advanced learning

We’ll focus on taking your poet out of the family nest and into the world of socializing. Here we also deal with common behavioural problems. Key topics covered in these classes include:

We are confident that by the end of Level 2, your poet’s innate wildness will be tamed into orderly forms. Particularly talented and ambitious poets may want to proceed to:

level 3: career poets

That’s right, some poets actually have jobs! We offer group training and personal lessons tailored to the specific demands of various poetic occupations. Some of the jobs our special courses address are:

Visit a poetsmart store today! Don’t forget to pick up treats, toys, and a cozy poet bed—poets need lots of attention and some can sleep for up to twenty-two hours a day!

Susan Holbrook teaches literature and creative writing at the University of Windsor.