Recovered

Yee-f***ing-haw

The University of Calgary’s Gauntlet newspaper on the Calgary Stampede, circa 1993

From the June 2012 magazine
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Recovered newspaper clipping
This clipping comes to The Walrus courtesy of Ashley Bristowe. Her husband, Chris Turner, is the author of our June 2012 cover story, “Calgary Reconsidered.” Their family, he reports, has had the article “framed and mounted in our bathroom for as long as we’ve lived in Calgary.”

Yee-fucking-haw.

The Calgary Exhibition and Stampede!

It’s the greatest never-changing, money-sucking, scumbag-ride-attending, junk-food-vomitting, washed-up-rock-star-headlining, Winnebago-migrating, overweight-people-Wranglers-wearing, “do-you-wanna-go-faster”-hating, clock-tower-mugging, hick-town-reputation-giving, fez-wearing, cud-chewing, over-priced-beer-swilling, 20-cent-stuffed-smurf-winning, commemorative-plate-buying, amazing-slicer-dicer-selling, “Jesus-look-at-the-size-of-the-crack-on-that-guy’s-ass”-exclaiming, stupid-hat-wearing, Young-Canadians-nauseating, drunk-guy-vomitting-all-over-his-once-a-year-cowboy-vest-on-C-Train-witnessing, “Hey-asshole-win-a-teddy-bear-for-your-chick”-tolerating, hernia-inducing-belt-buckle-sporting, Ed-Whalen-voice-forever-repeating, dippy-wood-panelling-in-banks-splinter-giving, corn-dog-deep-throating, I-can’t-believe-people-drive-all-the-way-from-Florida-for-this-shit-pondering, Stampede-Princess-colliding, steer-strangling, shit-kicking, outdoor show on Earth.

Yee-fucking-haw.

Robert Tarry, entertainment co-editor

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